As is our style we're getting nostalgic for the first year of our own show, and are handing out awards to some of the masterpieces of cinema we watched this year.
Which movie held up the best/worst?
Which fight scene was the flat-out craziest?
Join us for a magical 2017 awards show episode of golden memories, personal tales of shame, and heartfelt thanks to our listeners for their support!
Warning: Thanks also given to our wonderful guests, and to our friends over at TheDreamCage.com.
This 1998 remake of the 1961 film The Parent Trap is different in that it stars Lindsay Lohan, they removed some of the better details, and the word "actually" is used 23 times.
Meredith Mae Roberts joins the show again (The Parent Trap) to discuss the pros and cons of the 1998 remake of the Parent Trap, smothered sausages and all.
A nu-metal loving scientist who has yet to crack the code of enthusiastic consent invents a way to make himself into the invisible bad touching maniac in the sci-fi horror movie, Hollow Man.
Lance Gilstrap (Movie Riot) returns to the show (From Dusk Till Dawn) to discuss Kevin Bacon's Hollow Man, a film that we now regret referencing at the end of nearly every episode of this show.
A family of 5 young criminals engage in the cover-up of their dead babysitter in hopes of having one unforgettably lawless summer.
Justin Soileau (Youtube, Bandcamp) joins us again (Teen Wolf) to help investigate the many crimes of the Crandell children and whether or not the death of the titular babysitter was set-up to transpire by the conveniently vacationing mother in Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead (1991).
Arnold Schwarzenegger's secret dual life as a spy comes crashing down around him as he neglects the responsibilities of his job tracking terrorist to instead devote government resources to spying on his wife and taking revenge on her for a potential affair.
Quinn Buckner joins us to talk about True Lies (1994) starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, and Eliza Dushku in a delightful story of love & excessive military waste.
When two brothers murder in self-defense they are unexpectedly turned on to a life of vigilante crime fighting and action movie cliches in a post Pulp-Fiction world.
Two stoners get stuck in a year long science experiment, and use the opportunity to prove that they're terrible people.
Chaz Formichella (bit show) batons down the hatches with us as we talk about yet another Pauly Shore movie, Bio-Dome (1996).
A teenage boy in the 80's (who acts like a real butthole) proves that either God is real, aliens are watching us from the future with advanced technology and possibly manipulating the past, or that a 25 year old screenwriter will do whatever it takes to conceive the bullshit necessary to stabilize his house of cards.
Will Dwyer (@FirstWillEver) follows his chosen path to the podcast, and helps reveal the meaning behind the numerous obtuse elements in Donnie Darko.
When you're the new kid in high school and you set your sights on claiming the prettiest and most popular female classmate as your rightful prize you might end up having to put up with some of her dad's crazy rules about not dating until her shrew of a sister does...but if you're horny enough, and have a total lack of ethics then there's no heart you can't scheme your way into.
Dylan Garsee (Gayme Show) helps us comprehend the many questions posed by 10 Things I Hate About You. From Larry Miller's obsession with his daughter's pregnancies to how high on the asshole scale Joseph Gordeon-Levitt has risen to by the end of the film.
An unlikeable doggo (Burt Reynolds) gets his chance at redemption after being killed by a car rube goldberg machine in, All Dogs Go To Heaven (1989).
G-Su Paek (Just A Bill Podcast) joins the show to talk about the dark history of All Dogs Go To Heaven and why the movie looks and feels like a Disney movie, but it isn't a Disney movie.
A college aged group of stereotypes who are hated for being the other learn to hate others for hating them in Revenge of the Nerds (1984).
Anthony Lacagnina (Brain Matters, Delicate Boys) joins the show to talk about Revenge of the Nerds, an 80's movie directed by someone who is quoted as saying he wanted to make something he would be embarrassed to put his name on.
A judgmental 15 year old meddles, gives make-overs, and match makes at her Beverly Hills High School until she learns her lesson and kinda stops. Then to muck up a mostly normal plot she falls in love with her step-brother played by the dreamy Paul Rudd.
For absolutely no good reason at all Gordon Bombay is handed the job of coaching Team USA's hockey team for the first and only (possibly because of their massive incompetency and corruption) Junior Goodwill Games, and instead of helping his mix of Ducks from the first movie and new stereotypes from this movie get better at hockey Gordon mostly abandons the team to make time for self-reflection and trying to hook up with any woman who wanders through his life.
Daniel Hayden is back via skype to talk about whether or not Team USA is really the villain in D2: The Mighty Ducks.
A total nerd loser of a young boy's wish on a Zoltar machine comes true and turns him into Tom Hanks in his 30's.
Frank Netscher (Fuck This Week) fires up the cast for a new year new you kind of episode on Big (1988) in which we pose questions ranging from difficult to wildly immature.
A 90 minute Nintendo ad starring Fred Savage and Jenny Lewis.
Bryan Lubu Roberts (Victrola!) helps decode The Wizard (1989) from its confusing first moments to its heart-breaking finale.
A bunch of mostly white kids in the 60's hit a baseball autographed by cigar loving Babe Ruth into a backyard guarded by an inconsistently large dog, and spend their entire summer building shit to get it back instead of just asking James Earl Jones if he'll go grab it for them.
Xaria Coleman (Damn Gina) is the new kid on the block for our episode on The Sandlot (1993) in which we all agree that having Dennis Leary as your step-father is a tough break.
In Problem Child 2 we pick back up with Ben Healy (John Ritter) and his adopted son Junior (Michael Oliver) who is still openly acting out in murderous ways in response to years of neglect and abuse, but this time he has a female foil, Trixie (Ivyann Schwan), who may just be more of a psych-serial-murderer than Junior...oh, and there's a wacky love triangle plot sprinkled in for good measure because one would be a fool to let the sex appeal of John Ritter go to waste.
We took in Dalton Allen (Victrola!) for this episode on Problem Child 2's easily digestible kid's color palette, and hard to swallow neon 90's insanity.
After accidentally killing the current Santa Clause, Tim Allen finds out he is contractually obligated by the santa clause to become the new Santa, and in an attempt to prove he isn't the stereotypical bad dad from every other Christmas movie Tim Allen spends a year wrecking his own life until he eventually abandons it to take his position as the new Santa Clause (in perpetuity until such time that the wearer becomes unable to do so, by either accident or design).
Kyle Sweeney (Movie Riot) offers his own dadly insights into Tim Allen's first feature film role in The Santa Clause (1994).
The charming holiday tale of a young boy who is so obsessed with getting a gun for Christmas that he entirely overlooks his abusive home life and learns nothing in the process is, of course, the perfect movie to play on repeat for 24 hours every Christmas.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad battle it out for the title of worst dad as they risk life and limb to get their children the season's most popular Christmas toy in hopes that doing so will make up for another year of neglect.
Lindsey Moringy unwraps 1996's Jingle All The Way right down to its down-right rotten, Phil Hartman cameo-ing, turbo-man fuggin core.
3 sentient singing adolescent male animals and their undercharacterized and oversexualized female counterparts are tricked into traveling the world to trade diamonds for cash with a variety of stereotypes. And there's music!
Wyatt Tall joins the show to help us crack the nut that is the very high concept animated children's movie, The Chipmunk Adventure (1986).
After just a couple of weeks of self-discovery during her freshman year at college a young woman returns to her small farm town life, family, boyfriend, and habit of avoidances. All so Pauly Shore can be a fish out of water in a cornfield.
Brent Burpee (VR Gamers Podcast) joins us for this episode on Pauly Shore, and Carla Gugino's Son in Law (1993).
Brent is not only a great local improviser, and the winner of our Peen Dreams password giveaway, but it turns out he's an insider from this film who happened to attend Crawl's alma mater.
An $11 million dollar robot gains sentience and escapes from a military lab, and the two guys tasked with bringing it back are more interested in getting laid than returning the sentient nuclear death machine they've unleashed on a small Oregon town.
Derek Steffan & Joe Wolfe join the show to talk about Short Circuit (1986) which stars Ally Sheedy, Steve Guttenberg, and Fisher Stevens as a white guy playing an Indian American computer nerd.
Pauly Shore and Sean Astin find a caveman (Brendan Fraser) buried in their backyard, and when the caveman comes to life they selfishly decide not to turn the discovery over to scientists but instead to teach the caveman helpful phrases like "wheezing the juice" and "ah-ooooooooooh-ah-ha-buuuuuuuddy".
Alejandro Garcia (Empty Promises) is our guest in our episode on Pauly Shore and Sean Astin's classic film Encino Man (1992) wherein Astin is an asshole who learns next to nothing but gets the girl anyways.
Chris Farley nearly ruins his brother's run for governor of Washington in Black Sheep, a movie that reunites Farley with David Spade in hopes that your love of Tommy Boy will help carry you through this film.
Nathan Sowell joins the show to talk Farley & Spade's final film together, Black Sheep (1996)